| | I don't really post on this anymore, partly because I don't really post and partly because I have another blog that I use when I want to (driventodrive.blogspot.com), though I tend to focus on all things automotive with that.
I guess I just wanted to post some of the madness that's been my life recently. I finally graduated a semester late with my BA in Political Science, my father finally made Ambassador (he's currently there with my mother and a pair of African tortoises that they've adopted), I recently ended my relationship with my beautiful girlfriend of two years, and am currently trying to decide which branch of the armed forces I am going to enter as an Officer.
Regarding the military, I've given up trying to explain to people why I'm doing it. Like joining my fraternity, it's either something you understand and respect, or it doesn't make sense at all. You can't explain it to those who haven't experienced it. I don't want to compare pledging a frat to finding religion, but the feeling is somewhat similar in that if it strikes a chord with you, it's a strong one. It gives you a true sense of belonging and purpose. I view the military in the same light. It is service. It is not the safest path. But right now, it's what I need. I've enjoyed private schooling for the majority of my life, and just finished four and a half years of partying like a rockstar with the wealthiest, most beautiful college kids in America. That kind of lifestyle, the luxury, the drugs, the sex, is claustrophobic to put it mildly, and can be dangerous when taken to the extreme. Right now, while I'm young, I want to cut away at the fat, at the softness. I want to sell and throw everything I own into storage, and disappear for a year. Sure I could backpack around Europe, or go be a beach bum in Australia, but I come from a family with a proud history of government and civil service, and I do feel an obligation to continue, even if it's only for a few years. I want to escape but not to just be a meandering bum. I want to better myself, push myself, and emerge from the gauntlet stronger, faster, and smarter. At her prime, Sparta had the "agoge" (also spelled "agogi" and "agogae" depending on where you look), a rite of passage Spartan men had to overcome in order to be called a Spartan, in order to be called a citizen. Those who failed became helots, the labor class, unable to vote. This is my agoge.
The question remains which branch. Currently, I'm midway through the process of Army Officer Candidate Selection, which is basically a fancy way of saying a shit-ton of paperwork. I'm partial to the Army, simply because while I view the Marines as modern day Spartans, my own misconceptions regarding the Marine Corps leads to me feel I am probably too much of a thinker for that branch. Yet the Army retains a lot of the same hardness, the same tenacity. Either way, I see myself ending up in some aspect of Special Operations, be it an intelligence or tactical position. This is why I am still mulling over the idea of the Navy, as while I don't particularly want to serve on a ship or submarine as a Naval Officer, once an Officer I can immediately try out for Navy SEAL selection. In contrast, the Army requires that its Officer reach the rank of Captain before they are allowed to apply for Special Forces (Green Beret) selection. However, part of me feels that I might be deluding myself to think that I could make it through SEAL selection at the present, so I think the more prudent course would be to go Army, get through Basic, Officer Candidate School, get into Intel, learn the ropes, and then if I still have the drive go for Special Forces selection.
I'm sure the few people who read this are probably wondering about the girlfriend thing. The truth is, she is a beautiful, intelligent, and kind woman, and I love her dearly. But also the truth is the fact that this process, this agoge, is something that I need to do on my own, by myself, with no thoughts or connections to linger in my mind or distract me. And that's why after two years I've ended our relationship, a decision that was excruciating to reach, and even more so to do. Only God knows, but hopefully time will make it the right one or bring us back together when I emerge from this.
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| | Posted 1/1/2008 7:38 PM - 31 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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